One of the topics, which I think made all of us stop and consider, was beyond our wildest dreams. I know a couple hit me right away. One was the fact that I’m still alive and the other is that I’m still sober. Looking back, who would have thought either of these would be true?
The fact of the matter is that I should have been dead a long time ago from what alcohol had done to me. No matter what I tried I could not stop drinking and it was driving me insane. I was desperate and in despair and I was going to kill myself. In fact I was on the way out the door of the bar I was in and going to do it right away, when the bartender grabbed my wrist and asked if he could help me. I have never forgotten that.
He ran next door where I worked and brought a Viet Nam veteran medic back, whom I drank with. It was him who gave me hope for the first time in years. He told me about a group of people he had heard about, who stayed sober. He promised me that he would take me there. All of a sudden this light went on inside of me and led me to pray that night. I begged the God of my understanding to stop me from drinking alcohol and living the life I was living. I promised Him that I would do anything he wanted me to do. I surrendered.
That was a long time ago. I haven’t had a drink since that night. And this program I came into has helped me to change from what I once was into what I consider a better way of life in here. Took time to do this, but it really all began with the opening of a spiritual way of life within me. The Second Step. Time has taken time and I have stuck with it. Not easy, but do-able.
Part of that miracle is the peace and happiness, the new freedom, and serenity I had never experienced before. And the rest of that miracle is that I only have to do it for now. Today. Each and everyday. And the fact that I have acquired a Higher Power in my life, whom I believe keeps me sober each and everyday. Not only that, but I found all the help I need from all those I have met in here over time, beginning with my old sponsor and all the rest.
Having said all of this, I need to express how grateful I am for what I have been given. Like so many, there are moments when I don’t feel worthy of what has been put into my life. Yet there is no doubt it is what it is. And I need to say thanks for all of this.