Today I went to a meeting, which was on “gratitude”. And the thing was that I was beginning to grow in gratitude, because I was given a gift today. And that gift was what this program is all about for a chronic alcoholic like myself. I was given the opportunity to share my experience, strength, and hope with another alcoholic. An old friend of mine, who had been suffering a lot of what we all suffer from. Off centered relationships, which create negative emotions within us.
All this took me back to time early on in this program, when I was introduced to not only the thoughts of the old timers back then, but also another individual, who had just published a new book on what is wrong with so many of us, especially alcoholics.
Bill W. had written about this in the Eighth Step in the 12&12. I know I have talked about this before, but today I was thinking about two other individuals, who had talked about the same thing. One was the psychiatrist Scott Peck, MD, who wrote the book, The Road Less Traveled, and the other was the very spiritual monk. Both, like Bill talked about the unconscious mind in all of us and not only the effect it has on us, but the solution. And the solution for all three is the spiritual way of life.
Of course the old timers talked about replacing our negative emotions, which the unconscious mind drums up, and to use our minds instead. Pretty much what the others recommend, except now they are clear that the answer is spiritual. Of course I learned that from my sponsor and others, but I got reinforcement through these men.
Why is this so important to all of us? I can tell others from my own experience in this program, what the BB tells us also. That these negative emotions, especially resentment, can and does drive us back to drinking alcohol, and finally death. I’ve personally witnessed this on a number of occasions. And I know the answer is exactly what this program offers us, as the doctor and the other man and Bill points out to us. Spirituality.
This has worked for me, as I learned from them and my sponsor and the program. I know from my own experience that my Higher Power can do for me what I cannot do for myself. I can become willing to change, but I cannot do it for myself. I have to have the help which I have to turn these things over to a Power greater than myself. And that has changed my life.
That, of course, doesn’t mean that I won’t fall back into these things. After all, like the BB tells me, I’m not a saint. I’m still a weak human being. When my mind wanders off, I can find myself back into these things. And then, like my sponsor told me, I’m to pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep on keeping on. To stop my day and start it over.
Anyway I couldn’t help but think about the gifts of this program. Like I said, it makes me so grateful that we’re given these. Often on a daily basis. Sharing with others what was given to us.
I just had to stop and think about all of this today. I need to thank my Higher Power, this program, the old timers and all the others in here, who have helped me to grow. I have been given gratitude and peace of mind and a new happiness. Thanks.