Had to stop and go back and think and share today. That’s because I was reminded of my past by a couple of people, who were talking about what others said to them and caused a reaction.
I know there were times, especially in the past, when I reacted to remarks made to me by people. I can remember my temper going off, but especially of developing awful resentments. And that’s what really hit me, when I came into this program. I can never forget my first reading of the BB and seeing what that would do to alcoholics like me. Drinking again and then dying. Didn’t want to go there. Needed help.
Overtime in here, I have seen resentments pulling others back into alcohol again. Like I said, I don’t want to go there. When I was finally able to pray and ask God to relieve me of my alcoholism, a miracle happened. I was finally freed of drinking alcohol. And I never again want to ever go back there. Hopefully I will continue to do what I was taught in here.
However, whenever I hear people talk about their being hit with statements, which shake them up, the first thing, which comes to mind in myself, is the fear of things like resentments, And it always takes me back to what those old timers taught me. The first thing was, to put my mind over my emotions. To step back and pray. Then to start my day over from the negative to the positive. And to stay silent for a while, if possible. Then to change my attitude from negative to positive, and to step back into my active life with a smile on my face.
I can also never forget that Ninth Step moment, after one of my making amends, when I was internally angry at the man,to whom I was making amends. I had stepped out of his office and was on the way to the elevator, when I was suddenly relieved of anger, and then relieved of all the resentments in my life. Talk about another great miracle. It just happened.
Anyway I was thinking about all of this and reminding myself of why I am here. I’m here to stay sober this day. I am very grateful for all I have been given. The grace of my Higher Power. The directions of my old sponsor and all those old timers. This program and all the help others have given to me. I need to remember to pray in thanksgiving for all.