Recently my attention was drawn to a few people, who, aware of it or not, were drawn into the same things, although they didn’t believe that was what was going on. Having been down that road myself, it was easy for me to see it. I know a lot of those old timers, who had gone through the same things.
One thing I can remember, back when I was going through the same things, I felt that I was totally alone in what I was going through. So, it took me a long time to admit what was going on with me. And that once again reminded me of what my old sponsor had said to me, which began the changes within me.
I never ever forgot that moment, when he said: “You don’t know that you don’t know. You only think you do.” After that I slowly began to see where I was wrong. He was right, and I had to change. For instance, I reached a point, after I came in, where I thought my stopping drinking was the result of my decision to stop drinking. But that was way way off. The way I was able to stop was God’s answer to my prayer, begging for help. My Higher Power answered my asking for help and telling Him that I would do His will for me. And I woke up the next day free from alcohol for the first time in years.
After a while in here I thought I was in charge of what was going on in my program. One day I woke up and realized that I had changed, not on my own, but what was given to me by my Higher Power and those old timers. I had never thought the ways I was thinking ever before. I began to realize that I had been freely given what I so desperately needed to become the sober alcoholic I needed to be.
And all of this reminds me of what I finally began to learn in here. And that was how desperately I needed to grow in humility, which I had never had before. Not very easy to say the least. But I do find myself trying to do this from time to time. That prayer, which starts by stating that I ask my Higher Power to relieve me of the bondage of self, so that I might better serve Him. I have to remind myself everyday of that. Like I have to admit once again, not easy.
So, I have once again started to talk and share what I had gone through, which I find so clearly relates to where they are and what is going on with each of them. Not always easy to accept. I know that, having once been there myself. But hopefully the door in their minds will open and like myself, they will be able to find peace, happiness, and a great change within.