The BB makes a statement, which is really true. I almost went there myself. And that is that there may come a time, when we alcoholics may have no mental defense against that first drink. And, as the book states, the only solution is spiritual.
I’ve seen the result of this in the past, but, like I said, I ran into this myself. After a dinner out with my in-laws who were drinking, we went next door to the restaurant’s owner’s package store. He was a friend of theirs, so he told them to open the lockers and help take a drink for free. They did take cans and bottles of beer and tossed me a soda. I caught it and suddenly went into a rage.
I mean, here I was two years sober in AA, and suddenly I was given this and my mind went into a rage. I instantly was thinking about going to one of the lockers and getting a beer and killing anyone, who got in my way. Before I moved, my wife came up to me and asked me what was wrong. And before I knew it, I told her. And she simply took my hand and told me to step outside and say a prayer and ask God for help.
I did and was relieved of that overwhelming drive I had gone into. And I was grateful, because I had been suddenly overwhelmed and had no answer. I definitely thanked my wife afterwards.
This was the only time this happened to me in here. I have never forgotten it and don’t want to. Like I said, I’ve seen this happen to others and sometimes it’s deadly. And, as bad as these things were to others, I know that I’m still grateful for what was given to me.
I know I have talked to others about this and we all agreed that we need to not only pray, but to continue to go to meetings a day at a time. We not only are given our Higher Power’s help, but also our friends in here, who are so willing to support us.
Anyway I was reminded of this today and knew I needed to stop and think about this and to help make myself go back and remember. It also once more tells me why I am here. My primary purpose is to stay sober one day at a time. And to be willing to do what I’m supposed to do. And that is to be willing to carry the AA message to anyone, who needs it. But also be grateful to my Higher Power and all those who have so freely given to me. Thanks for sure.