At our meeting today, one fairly new young man opened the group to the subject of resentment and anger he was going through. That definitely gave a lot of those present a chance to explain how they had responded to this kind of experience. All told, a lot of confusion.
Anyway there were some of us, who had been helped a long time ago with this. I know I was. My first sponsor showed me what not to do. He drank again and died as a result of his resentment. Another alcoholic, with as much time as my first sponsor did the same thing just a short time later. He drank and he died. That woke me up.
After the meeting today, I talked to a few others, who were going through the same struggles, more or less. All depends on how they have been instructed to deal with this kind of experience. They have, like I was, been instructed in how to deal with these negative emotions, which ran our lives out there drinking. The truth they had to learn is that, though the alcohol is no longer in the picture, as such, these negative emotions are still running our minds. I know they did mine.
I explained to them, what they are probably hearing already, that I had to take the time to pay attention to how I am thinking. All that time, negative emotions were doing my thinking for me. I had to learn to change that to doing regular thinking, and learn to slowly get rid of the negative feelings, which were running my life. I told them that our lives, being limited to being awake one day at a time, were going to take a long time to change. It is not an over night miracle. Time takes time.
And that is how our Higher Power and this spiritual way of life must come into reinforcing and changing our lives. But again, no matter our dependence on our Higher Power, can change the time and our habit engrossed thinking of negative emotions. I know I had to pay attention a day at a time.
Anyway I told them how it worked for me. And it all began with my being able to stay sober one day at a time. My rising each and every day and committing myself to staying sober this day. My being able to go to meetings on a regular basis and listening to what I needed to continue to stay sober. And then turning my life and my will over to my Higher Power and following his directions through what we learn in this program. To freely give what we have been freely given to others like ourselves, who may be seeking sobriety like we did.
Also I know that I need to express my gratitude to my Higher Power, also this program, and the people in it, who have reached out and helped me. I am so thankful.