And that is why this alcoholic had to listen to his sponsor and other old timers that I have to live my staying sober one day at a time. I never want to go back to drinking alcohol ever again. I know back then I was full of despair and totally suicidal. And in that First Step I not only had to surrender completely, but I had to change totally. And that’s where the Second Step came into my life.
That’s the Step which introduced me to a spiritual way of life, and led me to relationship with my Higher Power. Talk about surrender. This way of life began to change me. My thinking, my feelings, my way of life, and to also change my goals in life. None of this was easy, but do-able, if I was willing to surrender.
Time took time. It was not an overnight change in life. I also had to learn how to change my way of thinking, which had gone on all those years I was drinking alcohol. The negative emotions, which came into this program with me. I had to learn to go from the negative to the positive and get rid of all those things, which were running my life. Again, it took a lot of time, but was done.
I was glad that I stopped and went back over all of this once again. It makes me grateful for all that was given to me. All that I had no way of thinking and doing. I had to learn and do this. And I have to thank the God of my understanding, this program, and those old timers, including my old sponsor and his widow, who gave me all the help I have needed up to now. I discovered I’m not done, nor will I ever be. Like the BB and old timers told me, I am not a saint. I am a real human being and alcoholic, which keeps me open to my stumbling from time to time and need to pick myself up and ask for help.