Mark Twain once said that everyone talks about the weather, but no one does anything about it. At meetings we all talk about the program, but…What happens after we leave the meeting? After all, there are 24 hours before the next one.
Without help it’s too much for us. I think about that. At the meeting, hopefully I’m getting the help I need. But afterward, where do I go for the help to maintain this program in my life? If I have a sponsor, I can always talk to them. But, maybe I don’t think I need help in this program and I think meetings are enough. There is a test to see how I’m doing. It’s in the twelfth step. It says that we tried to carry this message to another alcoholic. Am I doing this or trying to? And then there’s the big one; to practice these principles in all my affairs. I have to ask myself how I’m doing? Or, do I even think about ! these things?
When I look at this stuff, I find that I frequently fall short. I often fail. But that’s not the point. Do I quit or do I keep on trying? A tenth step would give me a fair idea on this. Maybe I should call my sponsor and talk about what I have found. I find rigorous honesty difficult without someone to bounce it off of. I need someone to tell about my shortcomings. After all, I came in being the master of rationalization. I could always tell myself that I’m not doing so bad and believe it. I can’t tell you how many times I have fallen into complacency and wandered off this path that I’m supposed to follow.
Do I believe that I have had a spiritual awakening as the result of following these steps? Good question for me. How would I know? What are the signs? There are a lot of them. They’re all there in the BB.
Someone once said that we shouldn’t ask him how he was doing. He said we should ask the people he lived with.
I find that I am blessed with so many opportunities. For instance. I ride with someone, who has regularly been picking me up for a long time now. I find that we share all the way over to the meeting and back and spend a lot of time talking about things. It’s amazing how this works. If I just sit in my head discussing this stuff, I get only my own ideas back. But talking about what’s going on in my life and listening to another talking about their stuff opens me up to the possibility of change. This is particularly true, because we attend the very same meeting.
He hears the same stuff and gives me a lot of feedback. He keeps me fresh and on my toes. I can’t get away with rationalization with him. Nor he me. We’ve both been in! the program a long time.
This may not be much, but it’s what I was thinking about, when I sat down to write.
Brings words and photos together (easily) with