Having made the announcement yesterday of my anniversary, there is something I need to add. It has to do with who did what. The first thing is that my time in here is not an accomplishment of my own. In fact, looking back on it I find that’s it’s a mystery to me how I got this far. If anything, I owe it to my sponsor and a whole lot of people, who helped me along the way. I know, too, that I owe so much to God for my sobriety. Without the 2nd Step, I wouldn’t be here. In fact it was the Steps, all of them, which changed me enough to not to want to ever take a drink again. They changed my attitude about everything, but especially about alcohol.
Today at the meeting we talked about this. I remember reading in the BB that peculiar form of insanity, which once took over my life. The insanity of forgetting. I would crash from drinking and swear I would never take another drink. But then I would forget how it had torn my life apart and only the memory of me having a good time would come into mind and I would be right back drinking again.
When I see another person going back to drinking again, I would have to think that they forgot. How easy it is to forget. And how easy it is to see the romance of alcohol. Bill talks about that peculiar twist of the alcoholic mind. It’s a warning that this could happen to anyone of us. In fact he ends that chapter with a caveat. The one that tells us that it is possible we may not have a mental defense against the first drink.
That’s why I often bring the 2nd Step up for a topic at meetings. I know people laugh when I do that. They probably think there’s that crazy old coot, who has never gotten the 2nd Step. But how important that step is to me, and, for that matter, every alcoholic. It is the answer to what’s wrong with me. I need to remember that the one defense I have against the insanity of forgetting and that next drink is a Higher Power. May I never forget that and hopefully be reminded of that each and every day.
I only learned all of this from my sponsor and the old timers and many of my old friends, who are now themselves old timers. They pointed the way and picked me up and dusted me off and continually nudged me along this path we are all on. It was them, who got me to read and study the BB and explained things to me, when I got stuck. They continually pulled me back, when I would start to wander off on my own. And they didn’t hesitate to tell me the truth and knock some sense back into my head. I desperately needed that. I still do.
So, today is another sober day, thanks to the program and all those who have taken the time to support my sobriety. I have to thank so many of you and others, who have helped and often carried me along the way. I am grateful.