There is one thing I don’t think any of us can avoid, if we want to remain sober. And that’s prayer and some kind of meditation. The 11th Step.
Doesn’t matter what that means to each individual or how we do whatever it is we do, as long as we do it. It just means, to me anyway, what the BB tells me. That the spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.
Over time I have often had to get all the help I could get in order to live this sober life. To achieve serenity and peace of mind. To solve my problems. To try to help others. To do the next right thing. To avoid anger and resentments. And the list could go on.
It’s a reminder to me that there is no graduation from this program. If I want to remain sober, and by that I mean a steadily progressive alcohol free life, I’m going to have to put this program into action in my daily life. There’s no cure for what’s wrong with me. I am a chronic alcoholic and I always will be. Abstinence for me is only possible through the practice of this program. The 12 Steps.
But it’s really not hard work for me, avoiding that next drink. That’s because, as a result of working this program, I have had a spiritual awakening. I have been restored to sanity, as far as alcohol goes. To me it’s a miracle.
However, I know what the BB says is true. It happened once in my sobriety. There may come a time, it says, when the alcoholic may have no mental defense against that first drink. That’s the truth. Like I said it happened after I was in the program a couple of years. It hit me without warning. I wasn’t even thinking about a drink and then it happened. It was sheer insanity. And like the BB said the only thing which saved me was my Higher Power. I had to pray, ask for help, and it worked.
But there’s more to that story. I didn’t remember to pray. Fortunately someone reminded me at that moment and told me to step out the door and say a prayer. I didn’t have a clue until that moment. Probably because I wasn’t used to practicing praying on a regular basis. That all changed after that. The memory, even though it was decades ago, is still fresh in my mind.
If I want proof that prayer works, all I have to do is look back at what happened that got me sober in the first place. Helpless and hopeless I begged God, as I understand Him, even though I had never heard that expression before, to stop me from drinking and living the life I was living. And guess what? It worked. But imperfect as I am, and my insane thinking at that time, actually made me forget that, after I came in this program.
I forgot a lot of things early on. And from time to time I still do. That’s why I go to meetings on a regular basis. It’s there I get to hear others like myself, giving me the answers I need on a daily basis. Plus I need to be close to others like myself, who encourage me to do what it is I need to do in order to continue to grow along spiritual lines. As was the case today, when a long time member brought up the topic of prayer. I was glad. It certainly helped me, as I knew it did a lot of those, who shared.
Anyway, sitting here and meditating on this has helped me a lot and I’m grateful.