At the meeting today, where the 11th and 12th Traditions were being discussed along with our primary purpose, one member suggested we take some of this home and meditate on it.
What strikes me about these Traditions (speaking of meditation) is the basis for anonymity, being talked about. And the word “humus” jumped into my head. Humus is a Latin word, meaning earth, ground, dirt. It’s the root of the word “humility”. On the ground, down to earth, Or the beginning source of that word. Being less self centered, modest, respectful. In other words less of me.
These Traditions are all about humility, starting with the 1st. Having enough humility to put my own agendas and desires, my wants, aside for the good of the whole. Unity of the program. To keep the program together. It’s about alcohol and sobriety for the good of its members.
And, when it comes to the last two Traditions, it’s not about fear of discovery so much, as it is about being respectful of the anonymity of others. Also respect for myself and my sobriety. So, when someone steps out of line and wants to break the anonymity of others, it’s about their agenda, which may be used to damage the persons they’re revealing being in the program or to promote themselves. Their egos.
And these thoughts bring me to our primary purpose. It’s to stay sober and help another alcoholic. And, for me, that takes humility. How? That’s the spiritual change I need to make within myself. The surrender and acceptance of what this program is about and passing that on to someone else.
Bill W., Dr. Bob, Dr. Harry Tiebout, and others write about this very thing. Humility. Ego deflation in depth. Letting the air out of that balloon called me. Thank my Higher Power for all those old timers, who cared enough about me to continually puncture my balloon. I needed that lesson over and over again. And still I have too much ego and self centeredness. Yet I do recognize what it is I need to do and how to do it. I learned that in here.
It took my hitting rock bottom, being down in the “mud”, to surrender to that 1st Step and accept my alcoholism and the unmanageability, which was my life, when I stepped through the doors of this program. And then having to take the next Step in surrender, the 2nd. Accepting that I was no longer in charge and coming to believe in a Power greater than myself. All little bits of humility. A beginning at least.
I have come to love this program and what it has done for this drunk. And I want it to continue long after I’m gone, so that other drunks, just like myself, will have the opportunity to recover just as I did. That’s the 12 Traditions.
Once again, thinking about sobriety.