At an eleventh step meeting today I was reminded of what it was all about. Prayer and meditation. Prayer being when we talk to God and meditation, when we listen to God. Listening.
Someone once said that the language of God is silence. He said God talks to us in silence. Our job is to sit and listen to the silence. It’s the other part of the conversation. We speak in prayer and then it’s God’s turn to answer us. He answers in His silence. Then, how are we to know what He’s saying?
One of the things that occurs, as a result of this “listening”, is that we begin to open up. We begin to have an open mind. I was told a long time ago not to look for any results in meditation. In fact, I was told if I think I’m beginning to get results, it’s nothing more than my own ego. I’m projecting my own thoughts into the process and coming out with what I want to see or “hear”. No, the opening up is what’s supposed to happen. Then I’m better able to hear what others are saying. It’s through these others that I begin to hear God’s will for me. That’s how I begin to know what He’s saying.
When I think I’m hearing what I need to hear and think I know what God’s will is for me, I need to talk it over with someone else and listen to their feedback. Bill W. once said that the biggest troublemakers in the program are people who believe they have a direct pipeline to God. They never listen to anyone else and consequently are forever preaching and believing they are right about everything. You can’t tell them anything. They know it all and are an endless source of misinformation.
I have to remain teachable. When I stop learning, I’m finished. I need to realize that there is always something I can learn. And meetings are a good place to learn things. I remember one old timer years ago, who said that he found meetings a place of meditation. It’s there that we can sit and listen. To put aside prejudice and bias and to allow others to speak without editing what they’re saying. To open my mind to the possibillities.
My take is that it’s all about my intentions. What do I intend to do? Do I intend to speak to God? Do I intend to listen to God?
And, of course, when I remember that the spiritual life is not a theory, I also have to remember something else. It was not my intention, when I came into this program, to live a spiritual life. I only wanted to be sober and that was enough. But, in order to do that, I found that I needed a Higher Power and I was going to have to do a number of things to attain to this spiritual life. So, I don’t do any of this because I want to be “spiritual”. I do them because I don’t want to drink again. Along the way, it’s possible that I may just end up living a spiritual life and that all things may become possible in my life. I like that.