In talking to most people, who are struggling somewhat, I always make a suggestion. And that suggestion is not always that clear. It depends on the person listening. And what is that? It’s laughter.
I know from my own experiences that I often went to my old sponsor or some other alcoholic individual, whom I felt knew what I should do, and so often I would be down in the dumps of some sort. I was far from happy. Often angry, sad, self pity, or some negative emotion.
My old sponsor had some other ideas. He would look at me, in what some of us called his Popeye smile and say, “Whine, whine, whine. Why are you whining?” And then he’d laugh. And often that would change my attitude and get me to smile or laugh.
The gift that gave me over time was for me to stop and think. What was it that was wrong with me? The answer in time was that I was way off base. Didn’t matter what I thought was wrong, the fact that I was sunk into a negative attitude was not the answer. I often found that, when I was able to step into a positive attitude, I would find myself in balance again.
We had an old timer in here, who would always bring that up. It was positive attitudes that we needed. Not negative attitudes. I found that if I would change my attitudes from negative to positive everything within me changed. Especially if I could laugh.
Talking to others this week demonstrated that over and over again. I was struck by the changes in the negative attitudes they brought into our talks. By the time we ended our conversations they had laughed out loud over and over. I found that this was true in my life again and again. I have arisen in the morning and felt down and negative. Gone in a looked in the mirror and just laughed at myself. Before long the negative vanishes. Doesn’t matter what.
One of the things I have to remember is that I have little control over
anything, except myself. The Serenity Prayer. The things I cannot change, which is nearly everything, if I’m honest with myself. And the courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference. And that’s where I learn I can, if I want to, or think I should, I can definitely change me. From negative to positive.
Doesn’t matter what I think is wrong. No matter what, I have no power over things. No control. I had to learn to step back and change myself. When I change myself and my attitude things change within me.
At the end of our conversations we all were laughing. Positive and not negative. Didn’t matter what was going on. I learned that from my sponsor and old timers. Whenever I found myself in a negative attitude I was to stop my day and start it over again. And it made no difference what the time was. And it always worked.
Anyway I needed to stop and think about this. I never forgot one doctor told a friend of mine that his only problem was his negative attitude and that he needed to learn to change that and that would change him. I know it did me. It’s all part of my staying sober a day at a time. To be growing along spiritual lines and grateful for all I have been given. Makes me at least smile.