For this alcoholic, thinking is not always that good. Enough to get me by in this way of life, but not enough to put me in a better place, I don’t think. My thoughts are often getting sober and staying sober. Not much more. I mean the spiritual way of life. A relationship with the God of my understanding. That always gives me pause.
My “spiritual thoughts” are often repetitions of prayers, which do help my forming good thinking. One of those, “relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better serve Thee”, does gives me focus on why I am here. I need that.
But, my being human and not a saint, often finds me doing what my old sponsor and those old timers would tell me, bumbling, and stumbling, and tumbling. Having to pick myself up and ask my Higher Power for help, and then getting back up and trying to live this sober way of life. I was told this would probably last until the day I die, because I am human.
Once again I have to reach a point where I can once more focus on why I am here. I am here to stay sober one day at a time. To go to meetings and participate in listening and sharing. To be willing to reach out and freely give to others what was freely given to us. To have compassion and be willing to help those who need help, especially new comers. And all this is one day at a time. And, oh, I have to remember to do what I have heard and read over and over again…not easy…but to be able to step back and practice humility.Not easy is right.