I have no grave accent for the subject word, but believe me is not “blaze”, but “blahzay”. Indifference.
I was talking to a friend of mine down in Del. today. He told me about a meeting where they got into a political discussion. He said he intervened and asked them what the hell they were doing. His question was what would a newcomer think in hearing such a meeting? He brought them back to the traditions, especially the fifth, where we should be talking about the solution and carrying the message to the man who still suffers. Outside issues are just that. Outside!
What struck me was how many old timers were at that meeting and participating in this session. What happens to us, when we get a few years under our belts and not drinking becomes old hat? When we take for granted this wonderful gift we have been given. When we see ourselves as immune to what was once an overwhelming curse, which was too much for us. When we made a decision to do God’s will and not our own. When our eyes glaze over and our minds go off into space at the mention of a newcomer or a man or woman coming back. When the steps become a drag and the traditions are a bore.
My sponsor told me that, when I felt bored, it was because I wasn’t doing anything to stay sober that day. For me it is a perilous thing to not pay attention, to lose my entusiasm for having my life rescued from the garbage heap of life, and to fail to have gratitude for recovering my life from the brink of death and disaster. I fear that the “broken shoelace” is right around the corner.
I’ve seen this kind of meeting, where even the old timers are almost drooling to hear some kind of relationshp disaster and eager to put their two cents in advice to the lovelorn. How crazy is that? Yet, I have seen most of the same people, turn this all around, when given the opportunity to talk about the steps. Yes, a real AA meeting. The kind I was “raised on”. I personally love to hear the solution to our dilemma. I love it, because I need it on a daily basis. I need to be reminded of what works. I already know and am completely familiar with what doesn’t work. I lived it out there in the bars and back alleys I used to run, when I was drinking.
After hearing his story, it set me to thinking. I need to remember what got me here and what keeps me here.