A number of thoughts are running around. The first is about meeting calamity with serenity. That sure wasn’t in my mind, when I came in. At first my mind was like a herd of panicked field mice. There was a total lack of honesty on my part for one thing. My mind was closed tight like a clenched fist and I couldn’t pry it open. I was filled with all my old ideas. And I was hardly willing to try anything new. I just clung to the idea that maybe I wouldn’t have to drink again. My prayers were still the foxhole variety, when I did pray.
Through my sponsor’s urgings, I began to get some idea of what this program was about. The not drinking part was up front. But my mind was still scrambled. Fortunately, I had a guide named Tom. It was he, who guided me around a lot of mines in the path ahead of me. But, it was his rock solid faith and his calmness, which I hung onto. There were a lot of men, back then, who exhibited the same kind of peace and serenity. An inner strength, which I never believed I would ever be able to accomplish.
There was one man especially. His name was Dick. Dick was an auto mechanic. I remember, when I was all scrambled up, I would drive over to his garage and just sit there. So would others. A couple of us, would just sit, without talking to each other, while he was under a car and working. Something would happen as we did. An air of calm would come over us. We would sit there for a while, Dick busy under the car absorbed in what he was doing, and we just sitting. The we would leave, one by one and go back to our business.
One day, Dick’s wife collapsed and was rushed to the hospital. She was dying. The minister of Dick’s church rushed up to the hospital and met with Dick. He asked Dick if he would join him in the hospital chapel to pray for his wife. Dick shook his head and told him that he had already said his prayers. I’ve never ever seen a man, who didn’t think of a drink, who remained serene in the face of calamity, and remained so stable through his wife’s death. He was able to continue to take care of the children she had left him with. He was the embodiment of the answer to the question in the tenth step; can we stay sober, keep in emotional balance, and live to good purpose under any and all conditions?
I have been able to remember his actions and other events he was invloved with over the years. The example of Dick and Tom and a host of others pried my mind open to the possiblities, which were going to open to me in the days ahead. How instructive they were.
I couldn’t help but think about this morning.