A man was “coming back” today. I always wonder, when this happens, if they really are coming back. Maybe they’ve never been here to start with.
Anyway, several thoughts ran through my head, as I listened to others responding to his announcement. The first was from the 12&12; the first step. Always I think about what it said on the last page of that very short step. It talks about our bottoms and why all this insistence that it’s so important to have a bottom. Then it states the reasons. The first is that who would want to surrender to being powerless over alcohol, if they weren’t forced to do so because of all the pain they were suffering? Who would want to seek a Higher Power, unless they had to? Who would ever think of doing an inventory of their faults and actions and then tell someone else, if not forced to because it would alleviate their pain? Who would seek others out and make amends for past action if it wasn’t necessary to their survival? Then it points out that we, who have been beaten by alcohol, have to face the fact that we have a disease, which is going to kill us, if we continue on.
And, that brought up the second thought, about the greatest teacher I ever met; alcohol. Alcohol taught me everythng I needed to know. It said that if I ever drank it again that it would drive me mad and kill me. Pretty scarey thought. It was all the incentive I needed to come to this program and seek the relief I so desperately needed. It made me find a refuge from its relentless pursuit of me. And I did. I found a safe harbor, where one day at a time, I can find the solution. The solution of a Power Greater than myself, who is not me, but, who can suspend the overwhelming desire to drink again. It gave me release and freedom from this awful obsession, which possessed me for so many years and placed me in a position of neutrality. And all that is required of me is to surrender and accept and practice a few simple rules.
I wanted to tell this man this, but time did not allow for it. And, perhaps this message wasn’t needed. Who knows what we hear that turns the key and opens the door within us to freedom from bondage? We can only hope, when we meet so many others like ourselves. I pray that man heard a word or a sentence, which would open the door for him. I am grateful I was there and could witness this process of the twelfth step once more.
It’s at meetings that we get the opportunity.