Travelling has separated me from the usual routine. I’m presently down in Md., where I have had time to spend with my youngest daughter and my two grandchildren. I have also had time to visit with some old friends I met at College Park, where I first came into AA. It’s been a horse race, but worth the effort.
Yesterday, I met with one of my oldest friends from the program. She’s hardly old, but I am. We talked for hours, but the main thrust was the program and how it has worked in our two lives. We found that it works very well. Both have found a measure of peace and serenity, we could not have conceived so many years back. We have found a reasonable happiness and certainly more freedom than we could expect, based on our former lives. We have many memories to look back to and we shared those things.
What struck me most on this trip was the weather. There was about a two day torrential downpour. I spent some of those days, standing outside and experiencing this storm and thought about just how powerless we are over the elements. And I thought about what the BB says: lack of power that was our dilemma.
What a thought. But then, in my life and the lives of so many I have known, there was a solution. The introduction of the concept of a Higher Power. A Power, quite separate from myself, Who could empower me to live a sober life and help me to begin to manage a completely unmanageable life. As scarey as this idea was, I wanted it, because I knew I never wanted to drink again, and if this was the way, I was all for it.
I might be powerless over the weather, but I certainly could take steps to change myself and the way my life had gone.
What my friends and I have shared and celebrated down here, is a sense of gratitude. Gratitude for this way of life and gratitude for having met and being able to share the struggles we have all undergone in attempting to turn our lives around. Gratitude for all those people, who guided us through those early days. Gratitude for the God we found in this program. A God, who gave us the power to live this way of life and has inspired us to keep on keeping on.
I realize we can’t go back to those early days, but it reminds me I don’t have to go back to where I came from. It’s just nice to come back and renew what has always been. And this, face to face. Nice to remember the milestones on this journey. I’m glad that I had the opportunity to make the journey. It saved my life and expanded it beyond anything I could conceive. Thank you God.