There seems to be a trend in the program to celebrate the return of those, who have gone out and drank again. I remember when it wasn’t that way. When someone returned from a slip the old timers would go to them and ask them if it was any better out there. What they were doing was deflating the ego of the person returning. Now it seems that we are inflating their egos and in a sense telling them that what they did was all right and why not do it again.
A man, sitting next to me today, said that he had a couple of slips and it was all do to ego and pride. He didn’t go to meetings, because he didn’t need them. He could do it himself. Of course he proved he couldn’t.
Ego deflation in depth. Humility. That’s the program. Ego inflation is not the program. It’s a we program and not a me program. I’m just a small part of the equation. This thought does not come natuarally to me. Anymore than willingness came naturally to me. Or any other part of this program. I had to learn these things. I had to be taught these things. My sobriety did not come naturally. I learned it from others and often had to get knocked down off my high horse in order to get the sense of what my sponsors and old timers were trying to teach me.
A lot of the old timers came in and never went back out and drank again. What they were teaching us by their words and example was that we never had to drink again, unless we “wanted” to. Their message was that with God’s help and the help of others, this program really works and it works very well. Through the help of others, we can learn discipline and avoid the pitfalls of sobriety. We don’t have to drink no matter what happens in our lives. In other words, through our self will, we can set ourselves up for a fall, but we don’t have to.
My sponsor used to say to me, over and over again, that AA does not promise you a rose garden. What it does promise was that if I did what others had done, I would never have to drink again. I could stay sober. Not always easy, but very do-able. All I had to do was not drink, trust God, clean house, help others, and go to meetings.
Something for me to think about.
Bored stiff? Loosen up…