After I talked with a fellow AA this morning I was confronted with the word ‘courage’. I don’t think I’ve ever talked to others about this quality in our lives, nor have many ever mentioned it to me. It certainly is in the ninth step in the 12&12. Yet it is an essential quality in the maintenance of our sobriety.
When a lot of us came in we were confronted by those, who would have us continue drinking. Some of us were told, as I was, that we weren’t all that bad. Some were told that they preferred them the way they were when they were drinking. A matter of control by the one saying that. It took a lot of courage on all our parts not to listen to these naysayers and stick to our guns. Granted, desperation was a big element, but, nevertheless, courage was an essential element.
As I began to undergo the changes we do in this program, it required more courage. Many I met outside the program wondered what was going on with me. At times I was questioned about my new attitude and actions. I wasn’t as feisty as I was when I was drinking and I think many responded to me as they would a wimp. It was a difficult time for me early on, because I was trying to find my feet and maintain my newfound sobriety. I can’t tell you how many of them urged me to join them at the bar as I had done on previous occassions. I heard a lot of derisive comments from them and literally had to force my feet to move away and tell myself that there was a meeting that night.
Some people in the program, even, would try to poke their way into my life and tell me how to live it, in spite of what I was being counseled by my sponsor. It often led me to question myself about what I was doing and how I was doing. But, thank God for my sponsor, he kept encouraging me to proceed on the path I was walking. He gave me the courage I needed.
I believe what I’m talking about is grace from a higher power. The Serenity prayer refers to asking for such grace; the courage to change the things we can. That speaks of a lot of courage.
Thinking about that word courage today. It plays such a big part in our sobriety.It’s there for the asking.
Food fight? Enjoy some healthy debate