I was reminded yesterday by a friend that when we are seeking, we often do not find, because we often look in the wrong places. We take the action in the steps with seemingly no results. We get them, but when we have different expectations we are dissapointed.
The statement in the BB about being rocketed into the fourth dimension seems overblown, when we don’t seem to experience it. Often we seek a spiritual experience. We don’t feel like we had one and feel let down.
I was thinking about this today and the likelihood that we have these everyday and don’t know it. For myself, everyday that I don’t take a drink, to me that is truly a spiritual experience. Just think. If I was doing, what is ordinarily the experience of an alcoholic I would be drinking. It is extrordinary for the alcoholic not to be drinking. It goes against his nature. Each day, I believe, by the grace of the God of my understanding, I get a daily reprieve from having to take that first drink. I am given the strength not to. Do I feel it? Often not, but it is there. The evidence is clear. I see it in so many of my fellow alcoholics that it’s undeniable.
The greatest gift I have been given is freedom from having to take a drink. We read the promises in the BB, we will know a new freedom. Do I know this? Do I feel it? Often not, becasue it becomes so common place to me. But it’s there. Am I looking someplace else for it? I could be. We will know a new happiness. Did I miss it? Not if I know where to look for it.
Everytime I think about resentments and how I could not free myself from them on my own undaided power alone I am often bewildered. For years I was chained to those I hated and wanted revenge for harms “real or imagined”. Through the grace of the program and my higher power, I have been released from the burden of having to drag these things along with me.
The list of the things I have experienced in this program and almost missed seems endless.
If it weren’t for my sponsor and others in this program, I would have.
Just something I was thinking about this morning.
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