I was thinking today of something very basic to all of us. The second step. How easily this step can slip by us and how much I need it on a daily basis. It’s easy to forget that we have but a daily reprieve from our alcoholism and alcohol. On any given day I can slip back into the insanity and powerlessness.
An interesting thing came up in the news last week. It seems that Mother Teresa wrote something in her journal about losing contact with God. I didn’t get the whole story, but I know that she went through a period in her life, when she seemed to have lost her faith. But guess what? She continued to live her life as if she had faith in God.
Lack of power, that was our dilemma. Bill tells us that and that we needed to find a power which could empower us to live this life. How I struggled with this, when I came in. I can still find myself struggling with this when it becomes all about me. My ears get all drunk again, when I find myself yammering and not listening. I can become that way, when I get all caught up in my “problems” and trying to solve them myself. What ever made me think I had that power?
It all gets down to trust for me, doesn’t it? Instead of going into a complete stage of panic, when these things come up, I need to learn, like Mother Teresa, to calm down and wait. I can do this if I live my life acting as if, when I feel like I’ve been abandoned by God. Like a veil has dropped between Him and me.
My sponsor told me a long time ago, when I was having trouble, to go back to the first three steps. He told me to get quiet and look at these and to reaffirm what I found there. He told me that I would find my feet planted on firm bedrock, if I did this. He told me that when I had done this and was settled down, then I could proceed. What a wise man he was. It works.
It always does.
He also told me that this process wouldn’t take long. All I had to do was do it.
Today at the meeting we talked about the second step. It’s the beginning of the solution. I need to hear other’s experiences of what that step meant to them and how they found the solution to their problem with alcohol. That’s what I need to remember. This whole way of life began with the fact that I had a problem with alcohol. This spiritual way of life did not begin because I wanted to become a spiritual person. It began because I couldn’t stop drinking. I needed a solution. I found it in the second step.
Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha!