Sometimes I sit and wonder about how this program began. I know it’s history, but it is really amazing that two drunks were able to get sober and then begin the process where millions of other drunks could follow them into sobriety. It’s history all right, but that doesn’t explain it.
From Dr.Carl Jung to Rowland H., who was the patient mentioned in the BB, to Ebby T., whom Rowland rescued from court and certain jail time, to Ebby and Bill W.is the bare bones chain of events. But the key, as I sat here wondering, seems to me to be what is in the Fifth Chapter: “Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.”
For instance, Dr.Bob. Dr.Bob had, during his drinking, pursued a number of spiritual paths, but none of them worked. Not until Bill and he had that talk. And Bill had his own road blocks when it came to God. Rowland, when presented the proposition Dr. Jung offered to him, was sure he was on the right path, until Jung told him that the path he was on was not enough. Clearly, when I came here, I, too, was blocked. I was full of old ideas…about God.
And that seems to be the heart of the matter.
When my sponsor told me that my mind was closed so tightly that it would take dynamite to get it open, I laughed. When he told me about getting rid of my old ideas, I now see that it was about God. I never discussed God with him. For me it was a “private” matter. I never told him, when he said that, that I was stuck fast in my convictions. Just as the men above were in theirs. I never realized at the time what my sponsor was talking about. I thought it was about a lot of other things rooted deep inside of me. Although I was concious of the fact that I made an immediate note that I was never going to change my mind about my beliefs.
Then, about five years into the program, I met a woman, who began to help me make that change, which woulod lead eventually to a more open mind. Here I was, well educated in theology and philosopy, if not in psychology, and what did she say to me? “I’m going to help you find God.” Talk about being slapped in the face. I was startled. And what did she do? She began to more uneducate me than teach me and helped me to pry open that closed mind.
Boring, isn’t it? But, I began, probably like most of us, to evolve into a new way of thinking. I remember one old friend of mine, who one day said to me that he was so glad that he had had no religios upbringing before AA. He said because of that he was open to the answer provided by this program. He had no prejudices. His mind was an open book.
As I sit here wondering, I would have said at one time that my friend was so fortunate he didn’t have to wrestle with his conscience. I’m still in the process and I think that the struggle has been worth it. It goes on. It’s a process with me and not an event. Just as sobriety is. But the process and the struggle is only for today. It always will be.
Pinpoint customers who are looking for what you sell.