Yesterday a friend of mine called me and said he had picked up an old copy of Dale Carnegie’s book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. And yesterday another friend came in from out of town and; while talking about this man’s call, said he assisted in giving courses on Dale Carnegie’s method.
What the man who called me wanted to read to me from that book was a couple of excerpts about “acting as if”. We had often talked about this concept in the past. And that’s what my other friend and I talked about; acting as if.
A few years ago I read a book by CS Lewis in which he said the same thing. He was talking about the love of God. He said that if we wanted to return that love we could begin by acting as if. If we acted as if we loved God he said, soon we would find that we did love God. It had come true. That was much the same thing Carnegie said; act as if and it would come true.
I know I have covered the same subject before, but it’s worth another go at it, because I sometimes have to remind myself. My sponsor and many of the old timers would tell me that, at the beginning of my sobriety, I was to act as if I was sober. I was to act as if I had faith. And I said that if I did that I would be a phony. My sponsor replied that I was already a phony, but this time I would be a positive phony.
Any of us could look back and see in the past that, whether we knew it or not, we often have acted as if under certain conditions. Some of it for good and sometimes for ill. But we did it.
Sometimes we acted as if we liked someone we didn’t and if we continued we found we did.
Sometimes, even when we don’t feel like it, we have to act as if we’re grateful. Persevere and we will find we are. Acting as if changes our feelings; our emotions. Like the old saying goes, you can’t think your way into a new way of living, but you can live your life into a new way of thinking. In other words, it’s only by taking action that we change our minds. Acting as if changes everything.
We often read and hear that this is a program of action. The action we take will be found in the twelve steps. But, one of the tools we can employ in our seeking to live a sober life is that statement, my sponsor gave to me; “act as if you’re sober”.
Anyway, I couldn’t help but think about this today.
Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha!