Once in a while, I will get a wake up call. Something someone says will really slap me in the head and make me sit up and take notice. Yesterday was one of those times.
Sitting in the meeting I heard a man I know tell how he had quite few years and then went out and drank again. He’s been in and out a couple of times since. He told how, after ten years or more, he was on his way to a meeting. He was angry at the time, so he turned his car around and went to a liquor store instead.
How easy it is for me to say that I never think about a drink. But there he was, after time in the program and he did. I was reminded of the words in the BB. The insanity returns and we drink again. The insanity. The loss of right thinking.
I do know what that is, because it happened on one occasion to me, early on. I remember I was blinded by the drink and I would have, except someone intervened and reminded me to pray. I did and the insanity was lifted from me. But it was like a razor’s edge. Somehow I heard what was said and I did what I was told to do. How often do we get that kind of grace offered to us? That man was alone with his anger and insanity. He had no one to lean over and tell him the solution. And if he did would he have heard it? Who knows?
I know one thing. This is about alcohol and to me alcohol is the predator. I have to be aware that what happened to this man can happen to me. I know others who have had the same experience. I was just thinking of one instance, where a friend of mine was caught up in the compulsion and was able to get to help before she drank. Just before it came on there was no warning. But in the midst of this sudden insane urge, she was able to think of a prayer and a chance to make a phone call for help. But I’ve seen others, who were offered the hand of help, who were so deep into the insanity that they drank anyway.
I know one thing, that if I’m working these steps, I know that I won’t drink. I just needed a reminder not to get complacent. Alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful…and patient, as some point out. Without help it’s too much for us. I owed that man thanks and I went up to him afterward and did thank him.
Just thinking about this today.