I was watching an old movie last night The Day of the Jackal. The reason I bring this up is that I was struck by one scene near the end of the movie, which so reminded me of me at times. The detective who had done so much to track down the assassin, threatining to kill Charles De Gaulle, has just presented the French Cabinet with where he was on the case, when the Deputy Minister announces that the detective could go home, because they would take it from there.
What arrogance. And of course they were forced to bring the lead detective back in order to solve the case and protect the French President.
We’ve all heard the old AA joke about the man at the race track, who is praying that his horse would come in and win the race. The horse is behind, but finally takes the lead near the final turn. The man says to God, “You can let go now, I’ll bring him in from here.”
How many times I have found myself in dire straights and asked God for help with the matter, and, when I have gotten it, decided I could handle it from that point on. What arrogance. What gave me the idea that I didn’t need my Higher Power in all phases of my life? After all my solution to my problem with alcohol began when I accepted the Second Step. Without it I would probably have drank myself to death.
My dependence on God must not be a “part time” solution. Each day is a day when I must depend on Him for my sobriety. Alcoholism hasn’t gone away. It’s ever present, whether I feel or think that it is or isn’t. Just because I am not thinking about a drink or don’t seem tempted to pick up that first drink doesn’t mean it’s over. Ask any guy or gal, who has just reported that they had a recent drunk dream. I’ve had them right up to this year.
Anyway, I was thinking about that scene from the movie and considering my past mistakes and how self reliance on my own unaided strength alone can bring calamity down upon me. I need to remember Who my sobriety depends upon. It’s not me thank God.