Talking with a friend of mine in the program today, I was faced with my own imperfections. It always amazes me how imperfectly I do this program. I talk about working the steps on a daily basis, as a way to maintain my spiritual condition and my sobriety, but can’t help but see how far short I fall.
But, I’m also reminded that it’s progress not perfection in this program.
However, from our talk I am reminded how essential talking and listening to others is to the process of staying sober. Communicating with others is so important. The BB reminds me of this, when it says that in spiritual matters it’s dangerous to go it alone.
We were talking about how easy it is to get into a mode of going it alone. I know that isolation calls to me from time to time. Almost anything can fuel this urge. Particularly irritation with others, leading to resentment, the number one offender. I know in the past that I have heard criticism, rather than help. I now know that wasn’t true. That was my prejudice coming from my rationalization and rebellion.
My sponsor called me aside one day. He had noticed how I was treating one man in the program. I told him how much this man irritated me. He simply told me to go to the man and tell him how I felt. I balked at this and said I would do no such thing. He got that cockeyed smile on his face and very quietly said, “Just do it.” I did and the man gave me as good as he got. Maybe better. The result was that we ended up the best of friends. I’ve never forgot that lesson and have applied it in a number of situations since. Not perfectly and not always. I’ve left a lot of litter on this highway we’re on.
Anyway, after my friend departed, I had to sit down and think about this. I need to be reminded of how much I depend on my higher power and the people in this program to stay sober.