Might as well talk about resentments, because that was the subject of the meeting today. That and the 10th step.
Like so many others, who spoke today, nipping anger in the bud tends to get rid of a lot of resentments. But, what if I really relish and like resentments? Why would I? Probably because it gives me the damnable luxury of lolling around in selp pity. I still remember the woman at a meeting some thirty years ago, who got a resentment at our group, because they told her that self pity was a character defect. She told us that was her only entertainment and wasn’t ever going to give it up. There was a time when that was true for me. But working the steps rid me of that problem.
Resentments, anger, self pity, and the self centered fear, which leads to these defects are a danger for the alcoholic, who wants to stay sober. They distort the mind and our feelings and blind us to the peril we’re in. Like the BB says, they cut us off from the sunlight of the spirit. That is, we find ourselves separated from our Higher Power and his support. Not his separation from us, but our separation from him.
That’s where the group or a member, who is working this program can get us back on track, if we’re willing to talk about what is going on with us, and, if I can open my ears and listen to the reponse. The problem is that when I find myself on an emotional binge, which are the result of these defects, I may find my ears are drunk and I can’t hear. But if I can hear, it’s possible to open the channel to my Higher Power and get the help I need to overcome resentments and once again be restored to sanity.
Bill W. made a suggestion that having a very brief prayer, which we can repeat to ourselves over and over again, we may have a way to keep the channel to God open. At least reopen it, when we are headed for trouble. Or better still to keep us from trouble.
Anway, I had to stop and think about this later after the meeting. A friend and I talked about this, because resentments are serious business and a dangerous trap anyone of us can fall into at anytime. I need to remember this and stay on the path to another sober day.