I was reminded today of the second part of the First Step. Unmanageability.
I couldn’t help but think of this, when someone brought up their inability to deal with stress. Certainly such a burden on any alcoholic is an invitation to a drink. I had to ask myself, what it was that has enabled me to cope with this kind of problem in my life. Because we all have to deal with this from time to time.
A number of people in the meeting referred to the Tenth Step and the spiritual axiom, that whenever we’re disturbed there is something wrong with us. My question was what is it that would allow me to sink under the weight of stress? The answer came back. I would be trying to manage my own life again.
When I came into this program I could certainly answer yes to both parts of that First Step. It was clear that I was powerless over alcohol, because I couldn’t stop drinking on my own initiative. And it was equally clear to me that I couldn’t manage my own life. I had no idea how to live in this world.
And then, just as quickly, it was pointed out to me what the solution was. It was the Second Step. My biggest problem was that I lacked power. I had no power and I was going to have to get a power greater than myself into my life. Something which could empower me to live a full and whole life. My sponsor and the program introduced me to this solution and it eventually changed everything and turned my life around. In fact, it gave me life. It gave me the gift of sobriety and it still works right up until today.
I look back and marvel at how these 12 Steps came about. They were put together in such a wonderful way. The Second is the answer to the First, and all the other steps follow in such a logical order that by the time we reach the Twelfth Step, we are totally changed and our lives so altered that we are able to live a happily whole and full life. I am not drinking and my life, no matter how imperfect, is mangeable, probably for the first time.
Like the BB says, we have a new manager and it’s not me. Thank God for that. And as long as I follow the guidelines laid down by this program, I can handle almost anything which comes up. I have a God of my understanding and a whole lot of people, just like me, who can spread the burden of what is bothering me around. I don’t have to carry or face any problem by myself.
And that helps to keep me sober a day at a time.
Anyway, I was thinking about this, when I got home from the meeting today.