One character defect, perhaps the most dangerous, I never hear discussed. In fact it’s not in the literature, but should be. That’s rationalization. For it is with rationalization I can justify any thought or action I might take, particularly that next drink.
By telling myself that whatever it is isn’t all that bad or that my anger is justified, I am practicing rationalization. With rationalization I can convince myself that anything I think is true, even, as I said, that it’s ok to take a drink.
One way we can check whether or not we’re rationalizing, is to ask yourself am I willing to tell my sponsor or someone else what it is I’m thinking about.
I remember one time, years ago, when I had decided to do something. On the surface it didn’t seem all that dangerous or all that bad. I had even convinced myself it was ok and certainly didn’t need to check it out. On the day this event was to occur, something prompted me to mention it to a friend. My friend’s reaction was sudden and swift. No way was I to follow through on this. I made a phone call and cancelled. I later told my sponsor and he said the same thing. No way.
It is amazing to me how often I can practice rationalization. Thankfully, I talk to someone almost everyday and that clears the cobwebs of rationalizing away. It’s so easy to stay in one’s head, at least mine, and justify almost anything. As I said, the acid test is, will I tell someone before I take action?
And, am I willing to listen to their response.
I don’t want to drink again. I want to stay sober. One way I know is to check my thinking out with someone else. When I find myself reluctant to call or talk to someone else, the problem is usually that I’m stuck in rationalizing something. I’ve decided to do something I probably shouldn’t but I don’t want to call someone, because I know what they will say.
Anyway, I was thinking about this today.