Everyday I wake up I find myself in a brand new day. It’s not just at that moment either. At anytime in the day, when I find myself drifting down into the doldrums, when I find myself angry or resentful, when things aren’t going right for me, when I find myself caught in the maze of my own mind, I have a resource that I never had before. I have found that I can stop my day and start over.
I learned in my early sobriety, from my sponsor and others, that, when I think I’m stuck in an awful mess (usually of my own making), I can stop the day, pause and begin anew. I don’t have to stay where I am, unless I choose to do so. I can back up, change my attitude, and begin the day again.
I learned from others that attitudes are everything. I heard, over and over again, that attitudes are more important than facts. The reality is that my attitudes can change the facts. My attitudes are my view of the world around me. I sincerely believe, from my own experience, that I can step aside and change my viewpoint anytime I want to.
I can’t do this alone. It requires help from my higher power. All I have to do is to stop and say a prayer and then the footwork to cooperate with my higher power. A spot check inventory, the 10th Step, will reveal what is wrong and what I have to do next. Sometimes a phone call to someone in the program will begin to release me from where I am stuck. That in itself is a prayer I believe.
For myself, I know I have often stepped into a bathroom and looked in the mirror. I’ve taken a look at the grim image looking back at me and really had to laugh. Why was I taking myself so seriously? Once again I discovered that it was all about me. I frequently make myself smile, even though my head may be filled with all sorts of awful images. Usually I stick my tongue out at the face looking back and remind myself that I am usually at the source of my problems.
It often requires humility and sometimes humiliation to admit that I could be wrong. That’s why we have the 10th step and the 11th. If I can become willing, with God’s help, and if possible others, I can begin all over again. I can enter the 12th Step and begin to try to once again practice these principles in all my affairs. I can even have a spiritual awakening at that moment, though I may not be aware of that happening.
To me, it’s all about sobriety. Staying sober. Thinking and acting sober. Being the best example of what this program is all about. It always makes me grateful that I am sober. And if I’m grateful, I know that anything is possible. Even to starting my day over, which is part and parcel of being sober.