What is it about resentments that they always seem to be popping up from time to time? That came up today, and based on what the feedback from those in attendance at the meeting, I could tell that it was an ongoing problem with most, who spoke. Maybe I was reading too much into it, because I know that it happens to me.
Resentments are the number one offender in our trying to maintain our sobriety. That’s what the BB says. Close enough anyway. It’s also the number one killer of alcoholics. I heard a man, who said he had an early argument today and developed a resentment in a heartbeat. He said he was thinking about going to a bar and drinking, but somehow ended up at the meeting instead. Talk about miracles.
The BB tells us that, when we’re angry, the insanity returns and we drink again. Something not to be taken too lightly. A friend of mine always says that she is not worried so much, if she thinks about a drink. What really worries her is that someday she just might find herself drinking without so much as a warning. Just like that man this morning, who almost did. That “what’s the use?” kind of thing. Pride and self pity, the root of all resentments.
That’s the problem. But there is a solution. And that’s what I was thinking about. When I find myself tempted by a resentment, I know that I have lost all contact with my higher power. I’ve taken over again and forget that lack of power was my dilemma, when I came here. It’s so important to me to reestablish that connection. I know at that point I’ve been cut off from the sunlight of the spirit, but that I can step back into that light, if I will only pause and ask for help. If I make a phone call and talk to someone else about what’s going on with me. I know that the God of my understanding hasn’t left. I did with my anger.
I always try to remember what a friend of mine usually says. It used to be all about me and now it’s almost all about me.
Anyway, I was thinking about this today. I was reminded of what I have to do to stay sober.