Talking to a number of people this weekend, I can appreciate how easy it is to let our thoughts and emotions pull us off track and away from what it is that keeps us sober. In the face of other people’s sufferings and our being powerless to do anything about it, it can bring on feelings of helplessness. Especially, if we can’t be with the person going through this crises. We can be overcome by feelings of guilt and even self pity.
None of us I think are lacking experience in this. And, if we do, we need the help and guidance of others to keep our feet firmly on the ground. A solid foundation to stand on. Years ago my sponsor talked to me about this. He told me that at times like this I needed to step aside and go through, in my mind, the first three Steps. He said that, when I finished contemplating these Steps, I would have a rock to stand on. A firm grasp, which would help me focus on what is important in my life; my primary purpose. No matter what transpired, I would be able to stay sober.
One temptation is to project into the future, as to what might or might not happen. That pulls me out of the present and separates me from depending on my higher power. It leaves me in charge of everything and that makes my life unmanageable. It opens up all my character defects to take charge and the insanity returns. Fear and anxiety comes back. And pride keeps me locked into my forecasts. I lose touch with today.
No matter what may be going on around me, I need to remember to stay in today. Today is the only day I have. It’s the only day I can stay sober. What happened yesterday is over and I can’t stay sober on tomorrow’s promise.
I was thinking about these conversations, concerning the suffering of others and know that I have to learn to let go and let God. If I have done what my sponsor told me to do, I know that it’s possible to remain calm and stay sober. Without sobriety I am of use to no one.
Anyway, these conversations made me stop and think about how fortunate I have been to have been given the help I have received, when I needed it. It has definitely helped me to stay sane and sober. I know that I can weather the storms life brings me, if I will rely on my higher power and the sober people God has placed in my life.