Watching and listening to people, who are fairly new to this program, I am convinced of how much I \was just like them, when I came in. Drama is the first thing I heard today. Everything in my life back then was dramatic. It was all about me and things weren’t getting better fast enough.
Just like the person I heard today, my mind was racing all the time and it was all negative. I was like a crazy loon, walking around just so addled in my head that I couldn’t stand it.
But I was fortunate in that my first sponsor wouldn’t let me sit around and end up getting drunk again. He would come over and haul me out of the house and take me on 12th Step calls. He would bring me to the worst places imaginable and let me look at people, who were worse off than myself. Drunk and miserable. Often suffering from the DTs or near convulsions. That cleared my head up in a hurry.
Then it was off to meetings and getting a dose of what I really needed to hear. I was told to shut up and listen. The meetings were all about why we were here and how this program worked. It was all about the 12 Steps and how these steps could change my life. And it worked.
I was told that, when I found myself “thinking” again, I was to pick up the BB and read it. Didn’t matter where in the BB, as long as I was reading it, it would help guide my thinking to things more positive and help me understand the program. Those old timers were right. It eventually began to change my thinking and slow me down.
Another thing which helped was that the men and women in the program wouldn’t leave me alone. They bugged me all the time, while I was in their presence. They asked me questions, like was I convinced I was an alcoholic. If I wasn’t, they pointed to the door and told me that maybe I should go back to the barroom and try a little more controlled drinking. But I was convinced. So, they told me to stop whining and do what was necessary to stay sober. Like acting as if I was sober or wanted to be sober. To begin working the first three Steps.
Looking back today, I had to admire those old timers patience with me. They were rough and tough, but I was to learn how much they cared about my life and welfare. They wanted me to succeed in getting sober and staying sober. I wanted the same thing for this person today and, when it came my turn to talk, I gave this person the same thing my sponsor and those old timers gave to me. I’m not sure how it was received, but it worked for me, the choice of the next drink or getting sober.