And what about membership in this program? I asked myself what it means to be a member of this fellowship. What does it take for someone like me, this alcoholic, to be an active member?
I know what the 3rd Tradition says. That all I have to do is to have a desire to stop drinking. Actually, I never really paid attention to that tradition until later on in the program. I mean I read it and heard it talked about. But I never had a desire to stop drinking. I had much more than a desire, when I came to this program. I had a fever within me never to drink again. It was a fire of hope, driven by desperation never to drink again and to find a solution to my alcoholism.
No, what I was thinking about today is found in the 1st Tradition. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends on AA unity. That’s why I question myself.
What does it take from me to maintain this unity so necessary for recovery of us all?
Surrender and acceptance of course. But more than that. It means that I must put my own desires and wants aside for the good of the whole. It means that someone so self centered and selfish, ego centered, has to begin to learn humility. Not just learn, but to practice ego deflation in depth. Bill tells us in the BB that this selfishness and self centeredness does not go away over night. It takes practice. Often humiliation. Learning to accept my imperfections. To put away my pride and wanting others to do it my way. To join in unity and become part of the “we” talked about in this program.
When these Traditions were authored, the first one talks about our being able to recognize what it means to be obedient to spiritual principles. Failure to do so could lead to the destruction of a group and the end of sobriety for so many, including myself. We depend upon our groups for not only our sobriety, but our very lives. I need the others I talk and think about to help me stay sober. I can’t do this alone. I’ve learned that over and over through time.
So, when I was thinking about membership in this program today, my mind went to the 1st Tradition. It tells me how I am to proceed through the rest of the Traditions, which are there to protect us, by showing me how, through unity, we can preserve this program, not only for ourselves, but for those who follow us. Preserve not just the program, but our sobriety.