There’s a lot I don’t understand. I certainly don’t understand my higher power, or the God of my understanding. It’s a mystery to me. Like one man said, when he quoted St. Augustine, that the holy man once said that God was closer to us than we are to him. He said he didn’t understand that, but knew it was true. That’s the way I am with my higher power.
This is not a complaint for me. I’m so grateful I found a higher power, which is the God of my understanding. I found hope in him and have faith in him. He stopped me from drinking, when I was hopeless and helpless. He opened the doors to this program for me. I believe it is my higher power, who keeps me sober.
All this is staggering to me, when I think of how it was, when I came here. I had what has been described as a spiritual malady. A spiritual sickness. No hope, no faith, nothing. And then I was introduced into a spiritual way of life. Through these 12 Steps, I got hope and came to believe. Moreover, I developed trust, something I never had before coming here.
Someone mentioned faith to me yesterday and that got me to thinking. Yes, I have faith, but it took a lot of pain to get there. When I accepted the pain for what it was, I had a spiritual awakening. Over the years in sobriety it has continued to grow. Even my concept of the God of my understanding continues to grow.
Anyway, I need to thank my friend for reminding me of what I have been given. And I am ever grateful for what I have received from God and all those old timers, who helped me to grow in this program. I’m sober because of all of this.