Practice, practice, practice. Somethings may happen by “accident”, but the truth is that it takes practice to bring about the changes in my character and my life.
The last phrase in the 12th Step is “to practice these principles in all of our affairs”. And what are my affairs? Practically all of them are my relationships with others. After all, I am not living in this world in isolation. That would be suicide, if I did. I would no longer be part of the “we” of this program. What is it that I hear all the time? That meeting makers make it.
No, it takes practice on my part to do what is necessary. Over and over again and again. Take that part of what I learned in here. To place the Intellect over my Emotions. The I over the E. To think with my head and not my heart. To achieve some level of emotional maturity. To put it another way, emotional sobriety. Not to let my anger or any other emotion to do my thinking for me. And how does that come about? Practice. Practicing to put a stop to whatever the emotion is before it starts. To learn to sidestep the emotion. To take control before it’s out of control.
Another practice I have to pay attention to is the 9th Step amends. Not just formally making amends, but to continue to live those amends to the best of my ability. To do things for others I have offended in the past, without looking for rewards. And to do them for others, who were not the object of my past harms, but who are “surrogates” for those I to whom I could not make amends for whatever reasons.
That means to me that I probably should wear myself out. But that’s not the truth. I’m not thinking about getting a metaphysical hernia with all of this. The truth is that I have to learn to pay attention. Like the BB says, the price of sobriety is eternal vigilance. Being aware of my character defects. My old bad habits of thinking and acting. Bringing my higher power into the picture at all times. And learning to share with others my problems and my inclinations.
They say that practice makes perfect. Well hardly in my experience. Perfection is well out of reach for me. I know that. But like it’s said, it’s progress not perfection. If I don’t give it a shot, I know I will fall short. And the thought of that next drink is enough incentive to keep me on track.
Anyway, I know I’m a lot better for all of this with willingness and by keeping an open mind. I also know from my experience that I have the help of my higher power and my relationships with those sober alcoholics, whom I meet and associate with in this program.