Thinking about people who share with me today. It reminds me of my sponsor and those old timers, when I took the time to share with them. Did they counsel me or give me advice? No way.
Most of them I knew gave me the example of what I was supposed to be doing, when someone came to me with a problem. To share my experience strength and hope with them. Advice? Hmm.
One thing they told me right out was to learn to listen and keep my mouth shut…unless I had similar experiences. To tell them what I did know, not what was my opinion on something. And most of all, to recommend working the program.
That last part is what I can definitely tell them. What it is that worked for me. I always think of that part in the Ninth Step in the BB, where it says: The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. In my experience over the years, I have found that no matter my problems, the answer has always been spiritual. Reliance on my higher power.
I remember listening to Sandy B., when he talked about this. He said that no matter what our problems appear to be on the surface, behind them they are always spiritual. My experience has borne his statements and that of the BB out.
Over time, I have had to learn to trust and have patience. Not an easy task for someone like me, who still had infantile responses to problems I had to face. As my sponsor used to say to me, when he laughed and said in response to my whining, “I want what I want, when I want it. And you’ll get what you will get, when you get it. If you get it at all.” Not comforting, but true nevertheless.
Always I was told that regardless nothing was worth a drink.
However I did get suggestions. One was to stay in the day and not to project into the future. The only thing, which could come from doing that was fear, anxiety, and stress. To keep hope and have faith and trust in my higher power. Not to close my mind. To keep it open.
Probably the best “advice” given to me was, when I was told that when in doubt, don’t. To step back and take a deep breath. Pause and wait. Tell someone what was going on and then listen. Too often in the past I would act impulsively and then had to face the consequences. And often it led to a drink back then. Those words saved me from a lot of grief I was to learn. A big help in staying sober.
Anyway, I was thinking and meditating on this today. Mainly thinking how grateful I was to have had those people in my life, who were able to help me change from the person I was to who I am today. I owe them so much and my higher power. Their direction and the gifts I have received from my higher power have helped me to begin to grow up, to stay sober, and live a more sane life than I ever had before.