What a reminder today. The first reminded me of just how powerless I am. The second was how much I needed the people in the program.
We had a man coming back in the meeting today. I listened to everyone, who described what is was like for them to come to this program and get sober. The pain, the despair, the mental and spiritual illness, which is part of this disease and how this program changed all of that.
My turn came and I was reminded that I’m powerless to change anyone. I knew that whatever I said was not going to move this person one way or another, unless he, like we all were, was in enough pain that he was willing to go to any lengths to want this program more than a drink of alcohol.
Then the word “We” came up. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol… The First Step. We tells me that what I have been able to do with my life since I came in is because we are all together to help one another to stay sober a day at a time.
That brought up memories of how this program has worked in my life. I could remember how I would get worried, anxiety ridden, because of some expectation of what the future held. I’d come to meetings with the weight of the world on my shoulders. I would sit there and, as the meeting went on, I could feel the pressure I was facing would begin to dissolve. By the time the meeting was over I would be free of what was bothering me. That has happened more than once over the years. We.
Looking back I can see how meetings, being together with alcoholics like myself has brought about so many changes in my life. It was like my sponsor told me that I cannot stay sober by myself. It’s the people in the rooms, who have inspired and supported me through the years a day at a time. Whenever I was discouraged I would receive the encouragement I needed. The directions I would get, the understanding, the wisdom of those old timers were given to me freely. Call it what it is, it’s love freely given as the program tells us.
Over the years I have seen others walk into these rooms, who were thinking about a drink, and them walking away free of the desire and temptation they were facing. All because exposure to the people in the rooms saved them from disaster.
And the “We” is in that First Tradition. If I will have the humility to put aside my self centered agendas for the good of the whole, the we, this program can be available to future alcoholics seeking recovery and life itself.
Powerless and We. And that’s a reminder of the spiritual aspect of this program. A Power greater than all of us, who is guiding us and supporting us in this way of life. What we find in those Twelve Steps.
Anyway I had to stop and think about all of this, when I got home. It’s all about sobriety. Staying sober and working this spiritual way of life so freely given to all of us; the We, whether we’re two or one hundred. And how that affects me and others like me. Amazing.