While I was out today I ran into six or seven friends from the program. What a pleasant experience that is to have these opportunities. I know my granddaughter (11 yrs. old) got a big kick out of it. She told her mother that I knew almost everyone in the store. Made me laugh. I told one of my friends and broke out laughing too.
That made me get back to thinking about the program today. The long and the short of it. I may not be able to tell what the future holds for me, but, if it comes to a drink, I can pretty well guess. Nothing else. Just that.
One of the readings today brought that back into my conciousness. About appearances and the truth, if I will back off and look at what alcohol can do to me. Not the attraction, which is short term. But looking back at my history and the consequences of my alcoholic drinking.
Often times I am very conscious of these facts, when people, who went back out, are coming back. It’s a reminder to me to go back and look at my own bottom. What I faced at the moment I was hit with the truth of what was happening to me, as a result of my drinking, I hated myself and the fact that I was powerless. For a few moments honesty hit me right between the eyes. I never ever want to forget those hateful moments in my life and the truth about my alcoholism. It’s what drove me through these doors to seek help with what was wrong with me. My disease.
As I’m writing this, I’m aware of why I’m here today. It’s because so many years ago I was given back my life, which alcohol was stealing away from me. Sobriety has restored me to life itself. That’s the gift of my Higher Power through this program. The spiritual solution so many of us have been gifted with. Like those friends I ran into in the store.
As my sponsor said so many years back, that I’m not responsible for getting sober, that was a gift. But I am responsible for my staying sober. It’s up to me to work these Steps in the program, to come to meetings and listen, to practice these principles in all of my affairs, to remember my primary purpose, to pray and meditate, and to help another alcoholic. I hope that’s my agenda. Oh, and to be grateful for all I have been given.