Depending on where I am at any given time, the word “acceptance” is either acceptable or it’s not. It’s up to where I am spiritually in this program, or not. Whether my faults are in control or my Higher Power is.
The reason I was thinking about this is because it was the topic of the meeting today. It was also the subject of a conversation with an old friend of mine in the program later this afternoon. The meeting was good and a good reminder to a lot of us, as was stated by a few old timers. But it was the conversation with my friend which summed it all up for me.
He gave me a perfect picture of what’s wrong with all of us. He had allowed himself to be manipulated by an individual he was doing some work for. When he called it was because he was becoming overwhelmed with the continued dissatisfaction of this person, so that he was really doing all the work for literally nothing. This was how the conversation started.
I brought him back to the spiritual axiom in the Tenth Step in the 12&12; whenever we’re disturbed there is something wrong with us. Thankfully he understood his part in all of this. Also, it was amazing that without doing a Tenth Step he could trace this all back to his childhood. His description was brief and perfectly clear.
And here was where the problem with acceptance came in. Was he willing to do what he had to? And before I knew it he described his own inventory of past events and could see how he had acted formerly. Then he stated that he was ready now to do the right thing. He was willing to accept. There was no doubt the emotional pain he had been undergoing was enough to help him turn it over to his Higher Power and be willing to do what was necessary. He had surrendered.
The reason all of this happened the way it did is because he and I have been working together for about 30 years. I sponsored him many years ago and I guess I still do. I know him and he knows me. Talk about acceptance. But over the past few years, more and more we are able to slide into the spiritual aspect of our lives. And we did near the end of our talk.
Why this was so important for me was because I was able to witness a perfect example of how we get into situations, which baffle us and disturb us to the point of desperation. We would rather fight or argue and support whatever the problem is and get more and more deeply involved, rather than step back and say the Serenity Prayer. Accept the things we cannot change. Surrender. Accept our being powerless and to do the next right thing.
Not always easy. I can remember the many times I’ve had to grit my teeth and, because of the emotional pain I was in, finally give up my struggle to control something I couldn’t. To admit I was wrong and surrender and accept. Usually with the help of talking to someone in the program and then my Higher Power. Like the BB tells us in the Fourth Chapter (the Second Step), lack of power that was our dilemma, and often still can be. The need for a Power greater than ourselves to empower me to live this sober life.
I hope I expressed my gratitude to my friend for his willingness to share with me. And I was just as grateful to be at the meeting on the same topic. Doesn’t matter what I might want to think, I’m the one, who was the one being helped today. It all added to my sobriety and I need to thank my Higher Power for all that was given to me.