One of the things I was talking about with a friend in the program today was the mistakes we make, when we’re in doubt and go ahead anyway. It was a reminder to me of what my old sponsor would tell me: when in doubt don’t. Take a step back and take a deep breath. Then talk to someone and listen. We’ve all had problems with this.
Actually the two of us laughed at ourselves. The dumb things we did in sobriety. Especially, when in doubt about something and then pushing on ahead anyway. Disasters for the most part. Doing and saying things we never should have. Forgetting the advice we were given by old timers, who had experience with these things.
It’s just another reminder that we have to practice these principles in the program every day. One day at a time. To be aware that I have to remember that sometimes I don’t know that I don’t know. I only think I do. Again my old sponsor’s correct assessment of me. Even though I have time in here now I can easily forget and slip up.
That’s where I can get in trouble with myself, when I think I know it all. As a friend of mine often says, “Get out of the driver’s seat and go to the back of the bus!”. The need to have the humility to ask for help from my Higher Power and the people with experience in staying sober.
How easy it is to think to myself that I have everything under control and without being aware to slip into complacency. If I’m truly trying to live a spiritual way of life I need to know who is charge and who isn’t. It’s the Serenity Prayer all over again. To know what I’m powerless over and what I’m not. To know what I can change and what I can’t.
Again, a problem shared is a problem cut in half. Am I willing to share with others, to be open, and then to be quiet and listen? That’s where the humility really comes in.
And that brings up something else I was told. When I find myself in some kind of puzzle, am I willing to stop and start my day over? Not always an easy thing to do, especially, if I’m caught up in my emotions. Can I admit to myself that I might be wrong? To stop and remember where my feet are. To look down and see where I’m standing at the moment. To be honest enough with myself to face reality.
Anyway, this was our conversation this morning. As a matter of fact I was talking to another alcoholic about much of the same thing this afternoon. We talked about honesty, humility, surrender, and the spiritual solution.
Good to hear these things. For me. Makes me grateful to have these reminders and help me to avoid sleep walking. Need to be awake and to be aware when walking this path in sobriety.