Today the 24 Hours A Day book proposes something I remember from way back. To wear the world like a loose garment. That has happened to me, as a result of this program. However, once in a while it’s more like a very tight garment.
It’s talking about not getting upset at what this world around us is like. Not to get tied up in the future and where we’re going. Nice. But that doesn’t account for what is basically wrong with someone like me. My faults. My character defects.
I’m still human. When I turn my life and my will over to the God of my understanding, the care of, I’m still exercising my free will. My choices and my decisions. To me it’s a demonstration of what the book talks about. Letting go and letting God. Trusting and having faith. Yet there’s that stuff down within me that sometimes just pops up. My reactions to people, places, and things.
We sometimes talk about beyond our wildest dreams. I guess I have realized that, inasmuch that I have been freed from the bondage of alcohol. I never think about a drink. I certainly never thought that was possible before I came here. Yet it happened for me, as the result of the spiritual awakening. That’s one thing. And of course all the 12 Promises, which also happened to me.
But then there’s the fact that having been freed from alcohol I still am a human being, suffering from the other things wrong with me. Perhaps not to the degree that existed, when I was out there drinking, because of the changes brought about thorough the Steps and the spiritual life I’m trying to live these days. Nevertheless I can find myself having to practice the Tenth Step to see where I have stumbled and am wrong.
All of these thoughts bring me to a realization of how far I have still to go. Also the realization that I will never be done with this program. I still have a lot to learn and a lot to practice. I’m not cured of this disease. I still have to practice this program on a daily basis. Everyday I wake up all my character defects are right there in front of me. The drink isn’t, but my defects need taking care of, because at any time I may be tempted to go back to where I came from. I never want that to happen.
So my goal was spelled out for me in this little book today. To renew my commitment to this program and all it offers me. Once again, everyday, to practice those Second and Third Steps and the others, where they apply to my life in this day. And to then don that garment. After all the directions for that little book can be found in the BB.