One of the things I know I need to think about is the spiritual life I know we need to live in order to stay sober. Doesn’t matter how we perceive this. I know that we all will have a different view point. Often it will be similar, but then it might not. The important thing is for someone like myself to remember the words in the Ninth Step in the BB, that the spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. How do I do that?
Again it all begins for me, after I surrendered to my being powerless over alcohol and admitting that my live was unmanageable, with that moment, when I came to believe in a power greater than myself. Accepting that need for help in living this way of life. Getting hope within myself that this was possible and looking at the results, which led me to believe. To have faith in a Higher Power. It made sense to me.
There are times, when I drift in my head. Doesn’t make any difference what causes this. Could be physical, mental, or problems I find myself in. The point is that I be willing to stop and pray and meditate. To step aside from myself and renew this program in my life.
I had to stop and do this today. To take the time to sit down and meditate. To think on my relationship with this Power greater than myself. To look back at what has happened over time within my living a sober life. The spiritual awakenings. Those moments, when change came about within, which began to turn my life around from what it had been, when I was out there drinking. The result of having accepted this program and these Twelve Steps.
That leads me to thinking about the gratitude I have and owe to my Higher Power and this program. Not so much a feeling as it is a willingness on my part to take some action to express my gratitude. And, for the moment, it is to pause and think about how I have been gifted with grace, which I definitely didn’t earn. Like my sponsor always told me, that I wasn’t responsible for my getting sober, but I was responsible for my staying sober.
Anyway, as I was sitting there, I found I had to stop and think about this spiritual way of life. Though I may not always understand it, I am grateful for being given this gift. Talk about beyond my wildest dreams. I never ever thought, when I was out there drinking that this could ever happen. It has and it’s wonderful.