What I was thinking tonight I had discussed with an old friend earlier today. An easy thought. A simple thought. It was about keeping it simple as I was told to do early on.
I was told not to complicate this program. And that was my tendency early on in this program. To get into psychology and all kinds of things, including theology, and philosophy. I was told in no uncertain terms to leave that stuff outside the door and get down to basics.
For instance the BB. Really very simple and very short, if I can keep my mind from parsing this and that, as if it was written in code. It’s not. It’s exactly what it says it is. Rarely have we seen a person fail, who has thoroughly followed our path. It’s right there. Clear enough.
I remember, when I came in. I had no idea what was wrong with me. Why I drank the way I did and why I couldn’t stop. I was desperate. And then I read the Doctor’s Opinion. And there it was. The disease of alcoholism, simply described. As sick as I was and as crazy, even I could understand that. And then, reading on I discovered There Is A Solution. Who knew that? I didn’t. But there it was and it was a start.
Only, when I ran into stuff I didn’t like did I begin to complicate things. What’s that Fifth Chapter say? At some of these we balked. And balk I did. So, why not mess with it and try to demonstrate to those old timers that it’s complicated. Of course they weren’t buying anything I said. Finally I was told to shut up and listen. Amazing how the politically correct among us are offended by saying that to someone, who won’t listen but keep on talking. I know it got my attention and it was the beginning of opening my mind up to what might be difficult, but very simple. Those 12 Steps.
One hundred and sixty-four pages. Short and pretty much to the point. I still go back and read things, which clarify and help me in this program to stay sober. And, if I stumble, I know there’s always someone, who will catch me and prop me up and explain what I lean toward. Making things complex. That way I can lay back and say I don’t know what they’re talking about. Like I said, those old timers knew exactly what I was doing, when I didn’t.
Often, I learned, what I was doing was focusing on me. I had yet to learn what I needed was humility. Learning to keep my mouth shut and listen to what those, who had been staying sober through the years, had to say about how they did what they did. To give up trying to teach those, who didn’t need to learn anything I had to offer. They already were practicing the solution. And that’s what I had to learn. It was spiritual. Not something I really knew anything about. But not that hard to learn. All I had to do was read, listen, follow suggestions, and there it was right in front of me. Simple.
Anyway that was what we were thinking about today. Keeping it simple and staying sober one day at a time. Our primary purpose. Simple enough, if I do what I need to do. Practice what I learned in here. And, oh yeah, to go to meetings regularly and listen.