Last night I had two dreams, which ran into each other. The first was part of my old life, and that ran into my second dream, which was me talking to a crowd of people about how I got sober and what my life was like today. And that’s when the alarm went off and I woke up.
I discovered at that time I was coming down with a cold, sneezing, and all the other stuff. About that time I decided I’d better not go to a meeting, because I’d end up passing all of this off to others, and decided I’d better stay home. So that’s where I am at the moment.
However, as I sit here, my thoughts have gone back to those dreams. Part of that I think is the result of yesterday, when I was sharing my story with an old friend in here. Things I had not told him about my life. Things which are more an adventure, and a couple of others I rarely share publicly. Not because I think they’re bad. It’s just that I might sound like I’m bragging. Risky business at best.
Anyway I guessed that’s what started those dreams. But it did make me think about what it is I need to do in here, in order to try to continue to stay sober. And that’s to be able to share with others, in order to help them get sober like the rest of us. To help them try to save their lives. I often think that, because there’s no guarantee. Just old experience in here.
And that took me back in my thoughts to one of those experiences. A Twelfth Step call a woman in this program and I went on together to talk to a drunken woman. We went over and found her in extremely bad shape. Since there were no rehabs back then, we took her to a hospital, which had a mental facility that often took people in, whom were suffering from mental difficulties as a result of drinking.
Anyway, after she was released we saw that she got to meetings. She still was suffering from a lot of mental loss. She ended up being the center of attention often, because of her thoughts and actions at meetings. After a couple of months in something startling happened.
One night we were sitting there, listening to alcoholics talking about our spiritual way of life. And then I remember hearing a woman’s voice. She was talking very logically about her way of life in here. And then I saw people around this huge room staring in almost a mouth open fashion. It was the woman, whom we had Twelfth Stepped and seemed to be off kilter all the time. She was making great sense to all of us.
After that she went on continuing to recover. Months passed. In fact a good friend of mine, a woman, who lived closest to her, had been assigned to bring her to meetings. After a while I know it was becoming a burden. Not long after that this woman, we had Stepped, ended up in the hospital. Something I think was a result of her drinking had caught up with her and she was dying.
I never forgot those moments. My sponsor and his wife took me up there to visit her. We found that young woman, who had complained about taking her to meetings, was there, sitting next to her bed and trying to be of assistance and comfort. And so it went. We continued to try to visit. Our young friend continued to take care of her. And then she passed away. She wasn’t alone and was being cared for. And she was sober, which was a blessing.
Anyway, as I sat here thinking about all of this, it made me think of what it is we are here for and what we need to do as best we can. And that is to put these spiritual principles into practice in our daily lives. And part of that is to give hope, and faith, and love to others like ourselves. Just like that woman back then. Never want to forget that.
And once again it reminds me of not only what I am supposed to be doing, but exactly why I am here. And that’s to stay sober a day at a time. And it reminds me of what the Ninth Step in the BB says. That the spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. I am grateful that I have had opportunities to see that along the way in my own life in here. Reminds me of the Second and Third Steps. And yes, the rest of this program.