Near the end of WWII my bother and I were awakened by screaming. It was amazing, because we were on the third floor of our house. The windows were closed because of winter weather. It was the woman next door. Her house was closed up like ours, yet her screams were waking others up also.
What had happened was that her son in the service died and she just received the news. My mother went over to help her, but the screams continued.
Why I’m thinking about this, after all of these years, was because I have been talking to others, who are currently going through grief or getting ready to do that. When we lose family members we all suffer grief, like it or not. Everyone has their own way of expressing grief. Some is more violent than others. I just recalled the above because of someone suffering terribly from the loss of a family member had informed me of the loss and I understand it’s terrible.
There are a lot of stages to grief, and depending on our mind and our emotions, we can go through a calm dose of sadness or just lose control. In either way, it’s really never easy. It goes on for a while.
I was thinking of this because I lost my two brothers, my father and my mother in sobriety. And I think that the introduction of the spiritual way of life in here made a big difference. I won’t go into details, except to say that in each and everyone I had those moments when tears came, despite my desire to handle these in a “cool” way. But I know that my Higher Power and my sponsor and others helped me get through them. And I am grateful.
I always go back to a wonderful woman in this program, who, when she found out that she was dying, told her son, who started to react a little wildly, that “It is what it is.” I have never forgotten that, because it was so correct. It’s part of that Serenity Prayer. The things we cannot change. And what is it I can change? Me. With my Higher Power’s help, I can get the courage and strength I need.
Anyway, I was, like I said, thinking about this today. And, of course, it is a reminder that I need to stay sober a day at a time. Thanks to this program, my Higher Power, and my old sponsor and so many more in here, who have helped me to do this. Makes me so grateful. I need to never forget why I am here, despite “what is”.