Do I want money? Good question. I would like it, but it’s not important. The bottom line is that I’m in a pinch most of the time. But money isn’t all that important.
There are a lot of things I might want, but the truth is that I really don’t. I don’t need to, that’s the truth. And what is the truth? What I need is to stay sober a day at a time. When I get tied up in other “needs”, I could very well end up in more trouble than I need.
In this program, with the help of my Higher Power and others, my focus has changed. Out there, when I was drinking, I was tied up in so many things, mainly alcohol, but I still had a black hole deep inside of me that I had to grab things in desperation to fill that hole. Never worked. Money, cars, people, jobs, name it, everything failed.
Then I came into this program, after surrendering to my being powerless over alcohol, and had to learn all over again, maybe for the first time, what I needed. I found out that the deep black hole could not be filled from the outside. That’s when I came into the Second Step. It was then that I began to learn that the hole could only be done from the inside. The spiritual way of life.
There are a lot of things I had to learn, and I did over time. But the above is part of the beginning. It was what changed me. I began to think differently. I began to get honest. I began to work these Steps. And none of this happened overnight. But little by little, one day at a time, the changes I so desperately needed began to take place.
What I found in here was peace and happiness. What I really never had before. The spiritual awakening and the restoration to sanity. Also the Promises. And then a whole lot more. Hope, faith, love, real friends, and the help I had needed so badly.
Anyway, I had to stop and think about this tonight. I had to be quiet. And to go back and remind myself once again of why I am here. And that’s to stay sober a day at a time. I have received what was so freely given to me. Hopefully I can freely give it to others like myself.
I am grateful.