I was reminded of something today, which changed my life. We had a couple of alcoholics today coming back. And that was something which brought some thoughts back about what helped me to change and stay sober. And then sharing after the meeting was another wake up call.
The first thought was about how it was early on that is not available today. And that was the help those old timers gave people like me, at that time. And what was that? It was their being willing to cut ones like myself down to size. Getting out of my huge ego and being reduced to close to a proper size.
I know that I often do think about the lack of truth in here, which is present today, since we no longer cut down to size. Ego deflation in depth. But today I was looking right at it. The people who were returning still had their beliefs about their lives. Obvious. Being willing to get rid of these falsities was necessary for a prideful person like myself, so that I would be free to acquire the truths of life. Then I was able to change. I wasn’t anchored down by the weight I had been carrying around inside of me over the years, whether I was drinking or not.
Then there was another thought, which had been on the edge of my mind for a while, that I really didn’t stop look at. And that was about my relationships with others. And what is that? Being able to have relations with others and still able to stand apart and be free. Not an easy concept to say the least. But one which is so important for someone like myself…or even others. I really knew about this years ago, but it wasn’t until recently it has been an awareness for someone like me.
I was made aware of it, when I read about it in a spiritual book. It was clear as I read it over and over again. It made me aware of how it affected me way back and changed my life. It became clear now and I know why I have been free since I woke up in sobriety.
I’m going to stop now, because I need to be quiet and focus on why I am here, as I know I need to do a day at a time. That is to stay sober and stay in the present moment. Not to go any further ahead than this moment. And not to go back and bring the past into my life. All right to tell others, who need it, what happened, but not to live it in the now.
And I know I need to stop and remember to be grateful to my Higher Power, who freed me from the possession alcohol had over me and placed me in a program, which reinforces a sober life within. And then to also give thanks to my old sponsor and so many, who have helped me to grow in sobriety.
I went back and thought about this. How much I owed to my old sponsor and those old timers for their willingness to puncture that balloon within my mind. My swollen ego, which was convinced it knew the truth, which of course was a huge weight within. Like I was thinking, I was able to begin to grow along spiritual lines.