Every now and then I find stopping and going back and being reminded of what it was like at the end of my drinking alcohol is exactly what I need. Today I opened the BB and stopped and read the chapter A Vision For You. Perfect. A great reminder for this alcoholic.
In fact the reading reminded me of an incident, which would come back to me from time to time. I was working for an outfit in Wash. D.C. and had been sent to Akron, Ohio on a sales trip. My boss went with me and stayed overnight and then left me and went back to DC. I remained and my first night after calls, I spent in my hotel bar drinking alcohol. The bartender introduced me to the piano player and that led to a crowded dinner in that hotel, where we all got drunk. The next day a whole lot of those at the dinner found that they were fired because of failure to continue appointments, and the companies had called their headquarters.
I was definitely confused, but I was able to finish that day, despite the mess in the lobby from the big crowd, who had been at the dinner the night before. We were all hung over and there was a lot of anger and awful hangovers. I never really thought about that moment again, until I finally got sober.
I was reading the BB early on and suddenly realized what had happened. I was in the same hotel, the same bar, the same lobby, the whole thing hit me. Bill had been there, but was on his way to see Dr. Bob and continue his sobriety and awaken Dr. Bob to his. I could see that whole place in my mind. Talk about an awakening. It was a great reminder to me, about what had helped those two alcoholics. Just the idea I had been there, drunk of course, made me aware of why I was doing what I was doing in this program. A kind of wake up call in a sense.
That whole chapter is a great help to remind me of not only why I am here, but helps me to see myself in what is being said. How I was awakened and given a message and surrender, as well as a spiritual awakening I so desperately needed. I could identify with was all that was being said. I fit perfectly, except I never went to a hospital. They didn’t have those kind of services, when I came in. There were no rehabs, and I guess only one detox in the city. The program wasn’t all that large back then. All this changed a few years in.
I am reminded of how grateful I am for all those alcoholics in here, who reached out and helped me. I still am grateful for those tough old timers, whom I met and helped me to start to change from the drunk I was. That whole chapter is something I believe we all need to read from time to time and be reminded of who we were and how we were, and how blessed we are to have this great gift given to us. I am so grateful. I need to thank my Higher Power for all the help I have been given. And I owe so much to my old sponsor and all those in here, who have freely given to me. I never want to forget what I was like and how I have grown and changed. Sobriety is a blessing. I need to say thanks to all I have met over time.